At times nothing is more delicious than being alone--the simpler the surroundings the better. That makes closing my eyes in contemplative prayer all the easier. Nothing (outside) to distract--nothing to tempt my eyes, hopefully little to call my ears, I enter in and find solace.
Sometimes I relish solitary time.
Often what I find is the cluttered chaos of my grasping mind--seeking something, anything to hold onto while I delay a deeper awareness of what troubles me. "Monkey mind" scrambles here and there, desperate for the comfort of distraction from the distress that is an inevitable part of being human. Wanting to avoid seeing, avoid feeling pain--my own or the world's-- I have some choices:
Stay. Breathe. Notice. Feel. Name. Let it go.
Be with what is arising. Accept. Explore. Say yes to God working with me.
Pray for help!
Or leave.
Get up. Find something--anything--to do. Get coffee.
Go for a walk. Hide in a book. Seek out a conversation. Go for a drive.
Anything is better than what is arising.
The precious thing in this moment is that I have a choice.
I can get up.
I can leave.
I can make myself coffee, find an enjoyable book, talk to someone.
Not so with those who are sent to "Solitary."
We have been praying for those who are being held in solitary confinement for some time now. We remember those who cannot leave their tiny, simple, stark cells.
I began reading about this intensely when I heard that Tsarnaev, the man now known more commonly as "The Boston Marathon Bomber," may spend the rest of his days in ADX: The US Penitentiary Administrative Maximum Security Prison in Florence, Colorado--if he is given a sentence of life in prison. 23 hours a day, 365 days a year in a room with a tiny window (which may have a brick wall behind it), a solid door with a slot in it to receive his meals, a sink-toilet combination, a stainless steel shower. One inmate likened it to living in a bathroom. There is only a thin mattress to cover the concrete slab of a bed, and a concrete, fixed, "desk and chair." And that is just the physical surroundings. It does not not account to what it does to a human being to live in utter isolation.
Life in prison--in solitary confinement--is supposed to be a more humane choice than the death penalty*.
I think not. It promises a descent into what Robert Hood, a former warden of the ADX, calls "A clean version of Hell."
Shane likens it to being buried alive, and that feels right to me.
Tsarnaev is an extreme and complicated example, though. The bombing was horrible, the devastation huge. What is the appropriate response? I do not know.
I do know that many men and women with far lesser offenses are held. Violence, yes. But lesser ones like ignoring orders, using drugs--or profanity--possessing contraband--all these can land men and women--our brothers and sisters--in Hell on earth for a very long time.
A large number are held in "protective custody." Children; those who report rape; gay and transgender people--these are protected by the thousands by being confined, alone in life-draining settings.
80,000 people are in solitary confinement in the United States on any given day.
Average terms range from 5 months (NY) to 6.8 years (CA) for the general population. There are many "supermax" facilities where the norm is constant "segregation."
Death Row inmates' average sentence in solitary confinement is 14 years. (last figures from 2009).
Somewhere between 25-50% of people in solitary have some mental illness. Too many. If they don't when they go in, most soon demonstrate signs--depression, panic attacks, paranoia, mania, self-injury and suicide happen. The details are gruesome.
I offer a contrast. As a spiritual director I usually recommend that people try no more than three days of silence their first time. That is most often experienced in community. A retreat house with some comforts, often beautiful surroundings and good food is the norm.
And that can be difficult enough.
I confess that I don't have another solution. I don't know what to do with those who commit acts of terrible violence. I do believe that responding with terrible violence is not the answer.
I do believe we can do better.
And I keep praying: for the 80,000 in solitary confinement, and for all of us.
Teach us all mercy, God. Help us to break the cycle of violence. Give us the grace to mirror you, the one who is just and merciful.
To learn more about this practice, see The New York Times Magazine article "Inside America's Toughest Prison" March 29, 2015 or solitary watch.com.
*I stand in opposition to the death penalty as well.
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